As I head back North back home after spending the last two weeks in a metropolitan Southern city, I am saddened somewhat.
I have significant depression, which I have never addressed and is now getting in the way. Let me rephrase, it has for to long been getting in the way. I am blessed to have a girlfriend that is as compassionate and caring as she is.
Where Moving on Up
That did not stop me from leaving her though, and pursue re-starting my life somewhere else. I say that to illustrate, what bad decisions I’ve been making. You don’t leave someone that cares as deeply as she does, looks after your well being, and loves you, to pursue a pie in the sky. Especially at my age.
Having come here in April, I joined a softball league, I enjoy playing sports, albeit at my age it’s not a thing of beauty to watch me play.
Nevertheless I did.
Well on this go around, things started off bad and they just kept getting worse. One bad decision after the next, car problems, legal problems, money problems and it was like I had two left feet. I am not a religious person, but it was like God was to tell me something.
I left the North hoping to relocate to the warmer weather, a more leisurely life, more outdoor activities for much more of the year.
Nevertheless, it’s fun and moreover everyone is around my age, or older and no one especially me is out to impress anyone, those days are long gone. I had opportunities to coach youth sports another passion of mine. Of course I spend time blogging, and had met some people from up North, and had a regular Friday night Card game to look forward once a week as well.
I am not a big fan of the South, but it was a metropolitan area, so no reason to think I could’t find people I’d have something in common with and build a life.
Although, I was leaving behind my girlfriend, a mistake even though we had our share of issues, I would be hard pressed to find someone as loyal, as honest as caring, and moreover someone that loved and looked over me as much or even half as much as she did.
I was hoping, that I could lure her down for a visit and the place would sell itself and she would join n me..
Here we Go Again
The Problem, of course is that we ever I go, my head goes with me., Having untreated Mental Illness, depression and other issues, They needed to be addressed, and as they were not, I realized how necessary to get treatment it is. Time and time again, what I thought was in my best interest…WASN’T!
And once again, my girlfriend was there to save me from myself.
Sometimes you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore!!!