Is there Life After a Loss of a Child?

One day the father comes home, it’s been a long day at the office, a lot of work, many demands, stress level is high, but that comes with territory after all you were striving for the top. You were striving to make a bunch of money.

Any way he walks thru development and navigates the twists and turns of the neighborhood head held high, he thinks he’s a big shot. Finally gets to the door and enters the house, it seems like just yesterday she was just a newborn, but she’s not, she’s now a five year girl with goldy locks hair and she comes running to the door….Daddy….Daddy and she jumps into his arms and all is well. That little girl took away all the stress, all the demands and so on.

Then that bump in the road, that terrible day…

She’s gone…Something terrible happened and your once little girl is never coming back. Your world is upside down. Your world does not make sense. You have a hole in your heart, that can never be filled.

During our lives we will have good times and bad times. We will have up’s and downs. That’s just the nature of life.

As creatures of God, as Human beings there is not much difference between all of us. The difference is measured in less than fractions. The difference sometimes is so small that it might be measured be who makes the right turn on the right street and who misses the sign.

We are own worst enemies, and so we reflect back on what we thought was so important and now seems so unimportant nevertheless we digress. The story goes something like this.

This young guy aspiring to be the best he can be. To excel at his career, to reach the top. To be a good provider. To be somebody, whatever that means.

To be a good husband and a good father, to bring love to the household, to provide for the family. To slowly grow and move on up to east side as the saying goes from that television show.

And he does so, soon his income is rising, his career is soaring, a wife comes into the picture and than a child. Happy times are here and in a big way.

Now comes the house with two cats in the yard life use to be so hard as the song goes.

Now comes new cars and new furniture and all the materialistic things you can want. The wife takes care of the house hold, the husband provides monetarily and the child grows each day and all is well.

However there is a bump in the road coming, nobody, especially him does not see it coming. We all hit bumps in the road, we all hit pot holes, we all make wrong turns.

It’s incredible how children, your own child can change your world. How special they are and how special they are to you. To your world. Since that day that she was born, life has never been the same. Forget the terrible two’s forget everything. A child brings joy, like nothing else can bring.

From the minute their born your life is forever changed. Whatever you knew in the past, how you lived your life will never be the same. It’s a rapid change, and one for the better without question. Oh, what a wonderful world.

Time goes by, you get older, your wife gets older, and your child grows up. It happens to fast. I like it better when you were five and the stressful thing was teaching you how to ride a bike. Now you are 16, and you like a boy and she wants to go out on date. Than before you know it is him and not you that all she thinks about. Son of bitch. Life goes on. The cycle continues.

You are happy and sad at the same time. Proud she’s grown up and so special, but sad because you feel like you lost your little girl

Then comes the speed bump, And she’s gone. I mean gone. Gone for good.

Just like that, Just like that. You feel like you cannot continue life, you feel like you have no purpose. Ah what the fuck, you feel like you want to die too.

What a speed bump, but life goes on. That’s what they say. For some over time they gather themselves and get back to as normal a routine as one can have after such life altering event. Life goes on though, or does it

For some the speed bump throws them off track and the devastation seems to get worse. The harder they try the farther they drift from the track. For some they can never get back on track. This is life. Life goes on.

Man, I want to tell you it’s times like this, when you better have a support system. You better have family to turn to, to cry with, to encourage you and to direct you to do the right things when they seem like they can never be right.

Friends, you need friends, you need there support. You need to feel like you still belong. You need for them to check on you. Damn you need a whole lot.

If you have that, you’ll get past that speed bump, or maybe that highway divider is more accurate. You will survive and life goes on and you will go on with it. Of course with a hole in your heart but you will continue and flourish. Eventually, you will get back to as close to yourself as possible.

After all life goes on. Time waits for no one.

If you don’t have that support system, man, go out and get one. People need people. Some things you can not do on your own.

A loss like that is something you can’t do on your own.

The hole still there damn, I wish it would go away, but it won’t. No matter how hard he tries, it won’t go away. Some days are still harder than others.

The hole not suppose to go away, I don’t think it would be normal, we must learn how to manage it and not let it manage the rest of our lives

God Bless baby. I’ll see you again one day…AND LIFE GOES ON…


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Simply Pao.

A Journal of Trauma, Healing, and Motherhood


56 Days to Fitness


Smashing Mental Illness Stigma

Simply Pao.

A Journal of Trauma, Healing, and Motherhood


56 Days to Fitness


Smashing Mental Illness Stigma

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