For those of you old enough to remember, the title of this post are Lyrics from the song from The Who, Who are you
I recall growing up as a teenager and a young adult, I swore I was going to do things different than my parents. I was their chief critic.
I was not going to interact with my mate the way they did. I was not going to raise my kids the way did. I was going to do things totally different. I certainly was not going to turn into may parents.
I was going to be a far superior version.
So much for that theory. The older I get I find myself realizing that I’m turning into my parents. I’m turning into my father.
At age 61, I am blessed that my parents are still alive and in relatively good health.
Let me preface this post by stating I am blessed to have the parents I have. My parents are good people, people of integrity, people who have enjoyed success in there lives. People who are responsible for giving me life. What a blessing
That said there is the old saying: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the Tree”
Man, that could not be more true. Although I swore I was going to be the apple that escaped. I didn’t.
Growing I remember my parents arguing. Every family dynamic is different, and everyone’s experiences are different.
But I digress. My parents didn’t argue excessively by any means but when they did, they got into it. Nothing physical or anything abusive by any means.
My Mom especially had a temper, she is a very communicative person. However when she lost her temper she would go into a 5 to 15 minute tirade, when she was done, she came back to reality and would continue their disagreement civilly.
For her that 5 or 15 minute yelling match was her way of getting whatever bothered her off her chest. Than she felt better and came back to Earth.
My Dad on the other hand was pretty calm, cool and collective. He would take her assault in stride, ride it out and articulate his thoughts and had a way of making my mother calm.
More often that not, whether he capitulated to her point of contentions or pursuaded her to come around to his point of view he always smoothed things over. My Dad has a way with words and it was pretty hard for her to stay mad with him long.
Occassionally, my Mom would go over the top, and my Dad would lose it. Which is saying a lot because it took a lot to get him upset. That said regardless of how the argument went they eventually would talk things through civilly and kiss and make up.
I swore I would never do that. I lied because I do exactly the same things all these years later. Son of a Bitch, I’m not that different after all. For me that’s not to bad, it’s actually pretty good, I am actually very lucky
It only makes sense we learn the most we are going to learn from these two creatures. They brought us into this world and taught us everything we know. So it only makes sense, that we would mimic them and it would form in general the way we act.
We are there offspring after all.
Growing up I of course didn’t think my parents had any faults, they were my God. They were gospel, if they said it, it had to be true. As we grow up we learn they are just people to, and are not perfect, for some it’s take longer to realize this. When we do we realize we are far from perfect too.
But I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.